I’m Going to Say and Ask It . . . Now!

It may be "just my age!"  I’m not sure, but I’ve been thinking that there are a few things that I wish I had said or asked before it’s too late.  This wishful thinking may have been introduced by a childhood friend, Donna, who is visiting as much of the world as possible, before she is physically unable to travel so far and long. For me it is not only what I wish I’d said, but also what I wish I’d asked.  My father had only a sister who was much older than him and died twenty-five years ago. He died seven years ago.  My mother is now plagued with dementia and two sisters living; none of which have a strong recollection of their family history. 

On the other hand, my interest has taken me to develop a genealogical map from securing birth/death documents, tombstone rubbings and genealogical information from the LDS archives in Utah.  When gathered and studied, my appetite was only increased, as questions, arose, like: why did my Protégée immigrant grandfather serve in the Canadian Armed Forces during WWI instead if the United States Armed Forces?  I have a whole list of questions I would give anything for the chance to ask – but it’s too late.  Then there is the issue of calling my mother everyday to tell her I love her. She no longer recognizes the ringing of the cell phone on a lanyard around her neck.  If only I lived closer.

I realize for some regrets, there are possibilities for do-overs and second chances.  Those goals like getting more education or traveling much more, for example, can still be redeemed in these years of my late sixties.  Leaving critical things unsaid or unasked, however, from begging forgiveness to saying, “I love you,” can’t be changed after the person is gone.  Here is where the simplest of actions – a conversation – will be a great regret preventer.