Leaving Is A Pain

She is close to thirteen, even closer to surpass her grandmother’s height, and described as, beautiful, and smart by her grandfather.  All this and much more characteristics rush through my thinking this past Sunday as we stood together for a picture after Easter brunch.  The thoughts about my eldest granddaughter continued as we hugged one another; Bettyann and I going our way and Grace and her parents going theirs.  I thought and expressed that we wouldn’t be experiencing her presence very much longer and noticed my emotive  response of pain.    

Every time I make the decision to love someone, I open myself to great suffering, because those I love most cause not only tremendous joy but also great pain.  And the greatest pain comes from leaving.  Looking back, it was when my girls left home, then when their husbands took them away.  Now, it’s when my granddaughters chose going to an overnights sleep with friends in place of spending the night with Papa and Meme.  It’s when Bettyann and I leave each other for a few weeks, when I say good-by to my mother who lives fifteen hundred miles away, when a beloved friend leaves to go back home for the season, or dies, the pain of leaving can tear me apart. 

I’m learning, if I want to avoid the suffering of leaving, I will never experience the joy of loving.  I am witness to the fact that love is stronger than fear, life stronger than death, hope stronger than despair.  God help me to trust that the risk of loving is always worth taking.