She is close to thirteen, even closer to surpass her
grandmother’s height, and described as, beautiful, and smart by her
grandfather. All this and much more
characteristics rush through my thinking this past Sunday as we stood together
for a picture after Easter brunch. The
thoughts about my eldest granddaughter continued as we hugged one another;
Bettyann and I going our way and Grace and her parents going theirs. I thought and expressed that we wouldn’t be
experiencing her presence very much longer and noticed my emotive response of pain.
Every time I make the decision to love someone, I open myself
to great suffering, because those I love most cause not only tremendous joy but
also great pain. And the greatest pain
comes from leaving. Looking back, it was
when my girls left home, then when their husbands took them away. Now, it’s when my granddaughters chose going
to an overnights sleep with friends in place of spending the night with Papa
and Meme. It’s when Bettyann and I leave
each other for a few weeks, when I say good-by to my mother who lives fifteen hundred
miles away, when a beloved friend leaves to go back home for the season, or
dies, the pain of leaving can tear me apart.
I’m learning, if I want to avoid the suffering of leaving, I
will never experience the joy of loving.
I am witness to the fact that love is stronger than fear, life stronger
than death, hope stronger than despair.
God help me to trust that the risk of loving is always worth taking.
